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Uncontrol by ~1337M457312:icon1337M457312:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Transgressive > Song


Melting into molten gold,
disappear in jars of steam
(escape rests in a snake).

Shake apart to build again,
death's but a detour to this adventure.
(You'll never find home again, but you'll be somewhere.)

Melt into molten gold,
but escape in clouds of smoke-
a tint of orange upon the palate.

Sleep when you're at rest,
six feet from your next breath.
Skeletons learn to dance above the clouds,
and souls dissolve into molten gold.
©2008-2009 ~1337M457312
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Submitted: July 21, 2008
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Author's Comments

let's see if you can figure out what I meant :)
good luck.
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Comments


~Charmestry:iconCharmestry: Jul 21, 2008, 5:59:00 PM
"six feet from your next breath."
^ Favorite line, for some reason :]
and its nice to see you writting again!!!!

--
And I may be romantic, and I may risk my life for it,
But I ain't gonna die for you, you know I ain't no Juliet.
~1337M457312:icon1337M457312: Jul 21, 2008, 6:50:40 PM
:) thanks! Yeah, writing kinda took a vacation, alongside thinking and drawing. Oops!

--
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Your words=actions, your actions=habit. Your habits=character. Character-Destiny. While you're at it, watch me! [link]
=platinummyr:iconplatinummyr: Jul 21, 2008, 8:18:51 PM
I agree with Charmestry about the best line :D

--
*TheWritersMeow
We’re all victims in a battle that we never had to fight
It’s ok it’s alright, steady now we’re in this thing together
~1337M457312:icon1337M457312: Jul 22, 2008, 5:46:31 PM
:D :dance: thanks

--
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Your words=actions, your actions=habit. Your habits=character. Character-Destiny. While you're at it, watch me! [link]
=CrimsonThrenody:iconCrimsonThrenody: Jul 23, 2008, 9:30:56 PM
You are getting better. This one flowed nicely.

Now, as for what you are talking about *ponders*

A volcano comes to mind but I don't think that is close.

--
:heart:Words are my paint, and the pen is my brush:heart:

~ *getLIT ~*WordCount ~ *Adopt-A-Writer ~ *Writers-Workshop ~
*Canography:iconCanography: Jul 25, 2008, 7:41:00 AM
It has a cycle of life feel to it. The six feet from your next breath could signify the grave or eternal rest. There is uncertainty in what lies beyond this life. The molten gold could signify the past existence on earth and the steam/smoke would be an analogy for the spirit. The last line could be the cycle repeating itself as in reincarnation. This is just a wild guess.

--
((( If I were a monkey, I would throw poop at you!! )))

[:love:]

******************
****Canography****
******************
~1337M457312:icon1337M457312: Jul 25, 2008, 9:48:22 AM
:) I like your version better, haaa.

--
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Your words=actions, your actions=habit. Your habits=character. Character-Destiny. While you're at it, watch me! [link]
~1337M457312:icon1337M457312: Jul 25, 2008, 9:48:43 AM
:) :dance: thank you!
nope, not a volcano.

--
Watch your thoughts, they become words. Your words=actions, your actions=habit. Your habits=character. Character-Destiny. While you're at it, watch me! [link]
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