“I breathed in
And forgot what it felt like
To breathe out
Like when silver cold found my fingertips
I forgot what it felt like
to be happy
without silver cold fingertops.

See, I swore someday
(to silent streets and lights)
that I’d become the first
yes the first flying mermaid
and I’d leap off this fucking bridge—
watch me fly.

(I didn’t jump because you were still on the other end of the phone and that would be rude)

and I would never jump before a car—
too messy for the people who’d clean that street.
See, I’ll be considerate in my death
even if I wasn’t in my life
Breathe in
But not out
…the room’s spinning?
Lungs burning?
Heart thudding?
Don’t
Don’t breath out
DON’T BREATHE OUT
Damnit…
I told you
…I wanted….
I want to die today.
And that way.
(it’s considerate, just pick me up and…clean)”

that’s what she said.
Not what I said.
…I…
I said nothing
as she began fading.