“Here, try this on for size. I find you’ll like the eyes. Our newest model, shops exclusively at Hollister and drinks a vanilla latte every morning for breakfast…no? What about this make, size zero and wears Abercrombie & Fitch, dances and eats only organically grown foods, quite trendy right now…No? A tough customer, aren’t you? Well, what are you looking for? Oh. Oh. Uh, um. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid we’ve never made a person like that…”

Never made a person like what? Like me? Yeah, that’s right, I’ve lost myself and no one carries ready-made models. What’s so hard about it? Wears name brands and Wall Mart jeans with equal ease; it’s not the name but the fit. A scarf here and hat there, heels today. Vans tomorrow. Sweatpants to school, dress up for coffee. Chai Latte or Spiced Apple Cider, it doesn’t matter, (still Starbucks!), oh look, let’s go get a burger! Hey, let’s fly a kite in winter; it’s comparable to late-night Chinese takeout and watching stars in summer night skies. Run with me, we’ll find a way to feel alive, finally and completely, utterly alive. Words, the greatest drug I’ve found, pour from eyes and over my tongue, this is a rough draft of all I wanted to say, he’s a laugh and she’s a smile, I’m falling apart into a semblance of perfectly okay, and in the process of ordering coffee, I’ve lost me. Is it to so hard to find a make and model like mine?

“I’m truly sorry. It appears you seem to be one of a kind. Perhaps you’d like to try our crazy artist persona? It’s a bit out of style, with Picasso dead and all…”
No thanks, sorry. I’ll come back, too much to do today and you obviously can’t help me put myself together again. Though I’m loath to try it, it appears I’ve been reduced to rebuilding on my own.

(Perhaps that’s for the best, however, cause really I can’t stand being anyone else.)